Well, the day finally has come. My last week in DC.
Since matching back in March, I knew that with the extreme joy of matching would come the sadness of leaving DC. In many ways, I denied it, and tucked that one big fact somewhere in the recesses of my heart and brain. But this week, reality brought it back. I had to leave. I’m never one to handle goodbyes well, so I typically just don’t. I’ve been known to just smooth the encounter over with falsely warm platitudes of “Oh it will be fine”, while knowing inside I am kicking and crying, and sad. I hate saying goodbye. When I was leaving a school I’d been at for several months and had built many deep relationships, I just left. Yes, I did it. At the end of the semester, I packed my bags, asked for a ride to the airport from my girlfriends, and just flew home. It was later that I told them, that I wasn’t returning. I’d rather deal with their anger at me for such a stupid act then deal with the sadness of the goodbye. I don’t know, call me weird. I almost wished I could do that now as I prepare to leave DC.
Though the purpose of me leaving is a great thing, I was suddenly faced with gravity of emotions of leaving my friends, an extended family to my husband and I. Now, I am a firm believer that once you’re friends, you’re friends—no amount of distance could change that friendship (Many of my closest friends live in different states than I do). But these were women who’d stood with me in the trenches during some dark moments I went through last year. These were friends who I laughed with and shared dreams with and cried with and whispered prayers with. These were my girls. In many ways I feared the distance would this time break what we had built over the year. I feared that perhaps our relationship would become irrelevant. If I’m to be completely honest, I feared maybe they’d all become friends when I left and just forget me.
Despite my fear and thoughts, I have to go. Residency awaits and I am genuinely excited. I’m about to enter a time in which I literally worked and prayed all my whole life to get, and I’m excited about that. Though I go, I carry them with me…the lessons they taught me. The words they shared, the love they gave. I carry it with me, using it to make me stronger as I move forward but never forgetting the bond we now have.
Go be fabulous somewhere,
Oluchi aka DivaDoc